A Pained Life: The Doctor Complex

By Carol Levy, PNN Columnist

The doctor walked into the exam room. He put out his hand and said, “I'm John Smith.”

For some reason, I did something I had never done before and asked, “Do you prefer John or Dr. Smith?”

“Uh, either is okay,” he said, looking a bit befuddled.  

So, I went with “John.” He didn't look happy with my choice, but he accepted it.

Flash forward to another exam room. Another doctor walks in and extends his hand to introduce himself. “I'm George Midas,” he says.

“Do you prefer George or Dr. Midas?” I ask.

He blew out his chest, like a gorilla in the mist. “I went to medical school and I deserve the title of doctor. You may call me Dr. Midas,” he said.

I returned to the first doctor. I never went back to the second one.

I read in medical blogs about how concerned many doctors are because they feel their elite status in the public eye is diminishing. “Doctor” or “physician” is what they are, so that is what they want to be called. Even the sobriquet “provider” is an affront to them. “Provider” makes them sound like nothing more than a businessperson, and that is an insult.

I remember being in the hospital years ago and my neurologist came into my room. He was wearing a sporty pinstriped summer suit. No white coat.

“I like your suit. You look really nice in that,” I said.

“You mean I don't look professional,” was his reply.

No, I didn't mean that. But apparently the white coat makes the man, and the man is more when he is seen as doctor and wears the uniform. Out of it, he becomes just another person doing business with a patient.

It is an odd thing. We don't call lawyers “Attorney Smith” or architects “Architect Michaels.”

You may recall when the Bidens first came into the White House. There was a hue and cry about First Lady Jill Biden calling herself “Dr. Biden” because, after all, she wasn't a medical doctor. She was “merely” a doctor of education.

Yes, it wasn't medical school, but does that mean that her graduate education was “less than” because it was not a medical school?

I hate to tell those who went through the rigors of medical school that doing so was a choice. No one forced them to become a doctor. And going through what may be the hardest of all graduate studies does not make them better than anyone else.

I will gladly call you “doctor” if that is the only option you give me. But don't confuse the use of your title with me being less elite than you are. Because that is one thing I am not.

Carol Jay Levy has lived with trigeminal neuralgia, a chronic facial pain disorder, for over 30 years. She is the author of “A Pained Life, A Chronic Pain Journey.”  Carol is the moderator of the Facebook support group “Women in Pain Awareness.” Her blog “The Pained Life” can be found here.