By Crystal Lindell
The holiday season can be stressful, even if you go into it with full health. If you have chronic pain or any type of chronic illness, it can really wear you down, making it difficult to fully enjoy the season's magic and community. It can even make you start to resent the holidays and your family.
I’ve been navigating the holidays with chronic pain for more than a decade, and have learned there are ways to make things easier and more joyful.
Many of them come down to doing less so that you can enjoy more – which is good advice in general if you have chronic pain. But it’s particularly important around the busy holiday season.
Here are my 10 tips to survive the holidays with chronic pain. Be sure to leave any tips you have in the comment section below!
1. Check Pharmacy Hours
First things first: Make sure you can get your meds.
My rural pharmacy is closed on Sundays and every major holiday. That means that if I have a refill due on Christmas Eve, I need to either have my doctor send the prescription the day before or wait until they reopen on Dec. 26 to get my medications.
God forbid if I forget to ask and have to do Christmas Day without pain medication. At that point, I might as well cancel Christmas.
Thankfully, my doctor has been pretty good at sending in refills a day early when the pharmacy is set to be closed. But he only does it when I remember to ask him ahead of time.
So check now if your pharmacy is closed on any of your upcoming refill days, and plan ahead with your doctor.
2. Consider Skipping Home Decorations
A few years ago, my family had a really rough run of horrible things happen. When we got to the holidays, I didn’t have any energy or spirit left for Christmas decorations.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t have any cozy holiday spirit at home though. We put YouTube videos of fireplaces crackling on our living room TV, and also played ones that had Christmas decorations around the mantle and holiday music playing in the background (this was one of our favorites).
At a time when I needed the holiday magic, but didn’t have the energy to create it myself, the virtual fireplace videos really helped us enjoy the season.
Decorating for the holidays is both expensive and energy consuming, so if chronic illness means you don’t have it in you to do it, opt for something virtual instead. After all, sometimes holiday magic means turning to YouTube.
3. Say No To Events
Decades ago, one of my friends gave me a piece of advice that I still carry with me today: Only do things that you want to do or that you need to do. Skip the stuff that you feel like you “should” do.
There can be a lot of pressure around the holidays to make sure you go to every family event from every branch of the family tree. It gets even more intense if you have complicating factors like a significant other’s family, divorced parents, or friends who you consider family.
If you have a chronic illness though, I highly recommend sticking to my friend’s sage advice: Only go to events that you want to go to or that you need to go to. Skip the ones that you feel like you “should” go to.
Maybe this means seeing just one side of the family this year or skipping tree lighting festivals that you’d gone to in the past, so that you have the energy to actually enjoy Christmas Day celebrations.
Saying “no” in this case means that you can say an enthusiastic “yes” to other stuff.
4. Plan Rest Days
Rest days are pretty antithetical to American culture, but when you have a chronic illness you either learn to embrace them, or your body forces them onto you.
If I have a large holiday event on my calendar, I now know to plan an equally large rest day to complement it. I also never book two things on the same day – even if one is in the morning and the other is in the evening – because I know that my body can’t handle it.
So if you’re doing two family gatherings this year for Christmas, consider doing Dec. 23 and Dec. 25 so that you can rest on Dec. 24. And if you want to go to a New Year’s Day party, consider skipping the midnight countdown on New Year’s Eve so that you know you’ll get enough sleep.
5. Give Homemade, Used and Inexpensive Thoughtful Gifts
Being in chronic pain often means being low on money. Don’t let it stress you out though. Having chronic pain also means that you often spend lots of time at home on your phone or computer — which is perfect if you want to track down gifts that are both inexpensive and thoughtful.
People love thoughtful gifts more than anything expensive. Last year I made my family a homemade cookbook of all our favorite family recipes. Because I have a laser printer at home, the main financial costs were just the binders and the plastic sleeves that I used for the pages. And then I got all the gift bags for $1.25 each at Dollar Tree.
Of course, compiling all the recipes and laying it all out was time consuming, but time is something that I do have, especially since I was able to do a lot of the cookbook layout literally from my couch.
Everyone LOVED the cookbooks. In fact, they loved it so much that I’m planning to make a second volume this year.
Other thoughtful inexpensive gifts include things like homemade baked goods, used books, socks with little sayings on them, and eBay or Facebook Marketplace items that you know they’ll love.
Stores known for their low prices, like Dollar Tree and Five Below also have great options. Three years ago I got my brother a $5 pet bed for his cat, who still uses it on a regular basis to this day.
You definitely don’t have to spend a lot to spread holiday cheer.
6. Wear Compression Socks During Travel
The holiday season usually means long car rides or airplane travel. There’s something about meds related to chronic pain that seem to cause feet swelling in those situations — especially ibuprofen.
But a good pair of compression socks can really help. They sell inexpensive ones on Amazon, but you can also get them at your local pharmacy. The socks can make such a difference in how your legs feel, can help prevent blood clots, and can even help make sure your shoes aren’t too tight after hours sitting in a car.
Plus, when compression socks are hidden under a pair of pants, nobody will even know you’re wearing them!
7. Shower the Night Before
Anyone with chronic illness is acutely aware of how much energy taking a shower and getting ready can take.
If you know you have a long day ahead of you, showering the night before can be an easy way to help you conserve energy for the next day’s events.
Just add a little dry shampoo to your hair the next morning, if needed, and nobody will know the difference – but you’ll definitely notice how much more energy you have to endure a busy day.
8. Consider Hosting
I know this tip could be controversial because hosting itself can come with a lot of physical work, mental stress, and financial costs — I get that.
But it’s a trade off. What you put in on the front end you might get back ten-fold on the back end: You get to be in your own home for the holiday – and don’t have to travel back home when it’s over.
Plus, if you have pets, you don’t have to worry about whether you should take them with you, leave them home alone for a long period of time, or even find a pet sitter. You can just be with them at home.
Yes, you’ll still have to spend time after the party cleaning up, but you can take as long as you want to do that.
If you find that you’re most comfortable in your own home, consider hosting this year.
9. Make Holiday Meals a Potluck
Whether or not you host, I always recommend doing potluck meals for the holidays.
This quite literally spreads the cost and stress of meal preparation out among the group, so that nobody gets overwhelmed. Anyone who doesn’t have the energy to cook can always grab something at the store, even if it’s something inexpensive like Hawaiian Rolls.
As an added bonus, if you have dietary restrictions, this also means you can make sure that your dishes meet them, so you know you’ll have something to eat.
10. Limit COVID Exposure
I know it’s not always practical to mask for family gatherings, but just being aware of COVID risk, getting vaccinated, and masking for travel can really help minimize your COVID exposure.
If you're sick with COVID symptoms or you know someone else at an upcoming event is sick, definitely feel comfortable staying home. After all, the last thing anyone with a chronic health problem needs is another health problem.
You deserve to have a magical holiday season, especially if you’re also struggling with health issues. But you don’t have to do everything like a healthy person would to enjoy the festivities. With these tips and an open heart, you’re sure to find some holiday joy this season!