Living With Chronic Pain and Finding Happiness During a Pandemic

By Victoria Reed, Guest Columnist

These are trying times. For those of us struggling with chronic pain, we know what it means to be tough. We battle our own bodies, doctors and even unsympathetic family members every day. We know what it’s like to struggle and make sacrifices -- because that’s what we have to do to survive.

With the arrival of Covid-19, it has added another layer to our already complex lives. But how do we learn to live with this virus and find happiness in the face of overwhelming adversity? I don’t have all the answers, but I do know what’s working for me and what brings me joy. 

I have lived with chronic pain for all of my adult life. My first problem began during my teens, when I developed persistent, unexplained pelvic pain. After many doctor visits and three exploratory surgeries, a sympathetic and kind OB/GYN reproductive endocrinologist finally gave me the answer: endometriosis.

Receiving treatment for endometriosis, which included hormone therapy and surgery to remove adhesions, didn’t take all of the pain away, but it did restore my fertility and allow me to eventually have babies.

Then, during my mid 20’s, my back suddenly went out. I had had no falls, accidents or injuries that I could recall. That would set the stage for another type of pain to take over my life, which there really was no cure for. I got a diagnosis of degenerative disc disease at age 27.

I managed the pain with physical therapy to tighten my core muscles, regular use of ice and heat, rest and pain medication. I also had a caudal nerve block. But by age 32, I began having new symptoms of joint swelling in random joints. Back to the doctor I went!

During that visit with a rheumatologist, I had requested to be tested for rheumatoid arthritis (RA) because my twin sister had recently received that diagnosis. Sure enough, blood tests confirmed that I did indeed have antibodies specific to RA. For those of you who have RA, you know that it is.a.beast.

VICTORIA REED

Over time, beating back RA became like a full-time job; take this medication, take that medication, inject this, apply that. Eventually, after trials of several expensive biologic medications and DMARD’s (disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs), we found one that worked. I get it by IV infusion about once a month at the Cleveland Clinic.

Biologics suppress the immune system to help bring down the inflammation that damages the joints, heart and lungs. RA also causes chronic, debilitating fatigue. It’s like you haven’t slept in a month and got run over by a truck, not like the tiredness you feel when you only had a few hours of sleep the night before.

Then a year or two later, during a routine visit with my rheumatologist, she listened to me as I described being sore all over. After a thorough exam, I received the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, another chronic and painful condition.

Here we go again! When will it stop? Some people might just want to give up, but I had three kids to raise, and it was important for me to fight for my health for them. My 18-year marriage had become a casualty and giving up was not an option!

With the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I had to adapt to the reality that I was never going to be free of pain and fatigue. They had become my constant companions. I managed, and my kids grew up watching my struggle. They are now 16, 19 and 21 and are happy, well-adjusted individuals, but they’ve had to watch me deal with pain their entire lives. 

Since it was obvious that my body hated me, why would it stop assaulting and insulting me? Guess what? It did not. I have since been diagnosed with FOUR more autoimmune and related disorders: Hashimoto’s thyroiditis (thyroid attack), Sjogren’s syndrome (mucous membrane attack), Raynaud’s phenomenon (small artery abnormality) and the loveliest of all: LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes of Adulthood), a form of Type 1 diabetes that is primarily treated with insulin.

Fast forward to 2020. Covid-19 arrives? No problem! I’m used to challenges. I’m used to pills, needles, pain and fatigue. Wearing a mask is the least of my worries, as I’ve been fighting to stay alive and healthy for all of my adult life and a few of my teenage years.

These days, I make time to do the things that please me, such as riding my 2-wheel Italian scooter, gardening, camping and traveling. I even learned how to ride a motorcycle at age 50! I do not dwell on my pain.

Living in northeast Ohio limits year-round sunshine, but when it is warm and sunny outside, that’s where you’ll always find me! Peace comes when I am at one with nature. Happiness is a state of mind. We can choose to be miserable or we can choose to be happy, and despite my health challenges, I am grateful and thankful for the blessings that I do have.

So, to all of you pain warriors, hang in there! Look for and hold onto the positive. Surround yourself with positive people. Cut out those friends and family that are negative energy (I did). Make time to do things you enjoy. It’s not easy, but it is possible to find peace and happiness in the face of overwhelming adversity.

Let’s hope that Covid-19 will someday be a thing of the past. But if not, we’ll be alright. 

Victoria Reed lives in Cleveland, Ohio.

PNN invites other readers to share their stories with us. Send them to editor@painnewsnetwork.org.