By Ann Marie Gaudon, PNN Columnist

Some folks do not cope well when anxiety comes for a visit. They don’t consider anxiety a normal emotion or call to action, but rather as something bad that must be gotten rid of.

There is no fault here, we live in a “feel good” society bombarded by messages that if we feel distress of any kind, we must do or take or buy something to get rid of it.

I explained how emotions contain a message in my column about loneliness during the coronavirus lockdown. The message is that you must make an effort to end your loneliness by changing your behaviour. Expand your world. Talk with people, laugh with people and cry with people. Find ways to interact.

Anxiety is another emotion. The research is very clear. If you try to deny, dismiss, avoid or overreact to anxiety, it is very likely to get worse. This in turn, can wreak havoc on your overall health.

Consider for a moment that you have a “struggle switch” for anxiety (or any emotion). If you overreact to anxiety or try to avoid it, your struggle switch is flipped “ON.” 

The message during a pandemic is loud and clear: There is something serious going on and we must take action to protect ourselves and others. That anxious feeling you have is trying to protect you, not harm you. It’s a very old evolutionary response. Very good copers have learned how to make peace with their anxiety, realizing it is there in an attempt to keep them safe.

Here are ways to flip that struggle switch to “OFF.”

Pay attention on purpose. Slow down, notice and name what you are feeling. For example, “I am feeling anxious. My heart is pounding fast, and my stomach has knots in it.”

Let these bodily sensations be just as they are, without judging or evaluating them. Just breathe, slow down, and let go of the urge to do anything at all with this feeling of anxiety.

Again, this is a normal response to an abnormal situation and your body is wise to this, so just be still and observe. If you need help with this, there are endless mindfulness activities online that allow you to have your experience without trying to escape from it. Here is one you can try.

Make an intention. Ask yourself, “What will I do with this feeling of anxiety? My mind sees this as something that makes me weak and vulnerable, however I choose not to get hooked by this. I accept this anxiety as mine. What will I do with it now that it is here?”

How you respond will be clear if you remember what is important to you. Even in a world that is fearful, you can be in touch with your values. Ask yourself, “What do I want to stand for in the face of this pandemic?”

You can hold this anxiety gently, as you would a nervous puppy, and change your behaviour -- with puppy in tow.

Expand your experience. Rather than running away from anxiety, learn from it. Anxiety tells us that we are alive and there is work to be done to protect ourselves. Even in times of fear and uncertainty, there is opportunity. Necessary life changes are not all negative. You can use this anxiety as a wake up call.

In addition to protective measures such as social distancing, are there other behaviours you can take that reflect how you want to be in this world? Can you commit to actions that improve the way you treat yourself and others?

Infectious disease, like any life stressor, presents a major challenge to our coping skills. I speak about this on my website. Binge eating and zoning out on Netflix will not improve your coping skills. They are just ways to try to escape from anxiety. Hoarding toilet paper or panic buying will also not accomplish this. They are signs of over-reacting to anxiety.

Instead, focus on what you can do in this moment. Worry is normal and natural, and can help us to eliminate threat. However, worry cannot get all of our troubles to take a hike. Once we have taken our protective actions, we can focus on how to make our lives better and to nurture and enjoy our relationships and all that is important to us.

Once that struggle switch is turned “OFF,” you will see that you can commit to your values – even with anxiety coming along for the ride. 

Ann Marie Gaudon is a registered social worker and psychotherapist in the Waterloo region of Ontario, Canada with a specialty in chronic pain management.  She has been a chronic pain patient for over 30 years and works part-time as her health allows. For more information about Ann Marie's counseling services, visit her website.