By Dijon Evans, Guest Columnist

I have taken kratom for 2 years now. I was cut off of my pain meds, after 40 years of proper and adhered to treatment.

There was no taper. No discussion. No warning. My pain management doctors just stopped treating all chronic pain patients and, shortly after, all of their terminal cancer patients.

I have full body Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), osteomyelitis, osteoporosis, neuropathy, sepsis, and two pulmonary embolisms.  I’ve had 3 amputations and have an artificial hip. My other hip needs replacement, as does my only knee. My spinal vertebrae are either broken, fractured or collapsed.

I've been having my jawbones ground on, drilled into and screwed together, all with no pain medication because of the panic caused by the CDC guideline, DEA enforcement and imprisonment of doctors.

Two years ago, I was leaving my home (after being bedridden for over 10 years) and asked for help getting into my wheelchair. I was on my way out the door to end my own life.

After being abandoned by the medical profession and my government, I lost all hope. I had no quality of life. And I sure as hell wasn't going to be tortured.

That's when I took my first bit of kratom. When my care provider, my boyfriend, showed up later that day, we both cried. He knelt beside me as I was sitting on the couch. Not in bed. Not begging for mercy. But sitting on the couch, smiling.

Yes, I am still terminal. Yes, I have bad days and flare ups. My doctors know I take kratom, follow me and cannot believe that when they see me, for the most part, I am smiling. I push my own wheelchair into my appointments.

I have blood work each month. No, I am not cured. But I now have hope.

My daughter and grandkids are happy to see me, not dreading it. I'm not in the hospital or ER as much. I have a little bit of quality of life -- while I can.

Is this really too much to ask?

I've done my research. I am educated. I'm an intelligent person. A grandma, a daughter, sister, niece, cousin, a mother, a significant person in several lives. I am important. I do matter.

I don't use much kratom, but if I was asked to change the amount and manner and participate in a clinical trial, I would gladly do so in order for the millions who may benefit and have benefited from it.

Dijon Evans lives in California.

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The information in this column should not be considered as professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. It is for informational purposes only and represents the author’s opinions alone. It does not inherently express or reflect the views, opinions and/or positions of Pain News Network.